See, I Told You

He sees your obedience, I promise, let me prove it to you. I’ve been waiting to tell you this for a long time.

I remember it so clearly. I asked my Father to please give me an answer. I was done with wondering and trying to make a decision. Should I stay home for college and stick with the original plan (the one that was easy), or should I go to school in Tennessee (the last thing I wanted to do)?

I went to check my email and saw I had just received a new blog post. The first words of the blog post were this:

“The Lord had said to Abram, ‘Leave your country, your people, and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.’” Genesis 12:1

I’m not sure what all happened in this moment. As much as I wanted to crumble under the weight of what my Father had just told me, somehow I stood firm, took in a big, stabilizing breath and said, “Okay.” No questions. No doubts.

Looking back, this makes no sense to me. Going to Tennessee was the last thing I wanted to do. It was the thing I had vowed I would never do. But, there I was, simply accepting this command without question or hesitation. Fear penetrated me from all sides and sadness flooded my heart, but there was a peace that overpowered it all. A knowing deep inside my heart this was what I had to do. I had no choice.

This was in November 2012.

In August 2013 I made the move to Tennessee and began the greatest experience I had ever had.

I call it great not because I loved it, not because it was easy, not because it was my favorite thing ever.

I call it great because the life change I experienced was epic. Yes, epic. Larger-than-life, impressive, and grand.

It was exactly what He had planned out and knew I needed.

The many waterfalls of tears, the days filled with being homesick, and the countless number of times I experienced why college wasn’t for me was still never stronger than the call my Father had placed on my life.

To leave my home and move to Tennessee.

In the many moments of frustration and tears my parents would always remind me of my choice to transfer and finish school in Colorado.

My answer was always the same: I have to be obedient to my Father, and He was telling me to stay.

I also knew my Father called me to live life fully and for Him no matter the situation. Therefore, I did my best to thrive at college. I put myself out there and tried to experience it all. In doing so, I made amazing friends I will do life with forever, made incredible memories, and saw great things. Ultimately though, this place was not my home, and never once did I feel a desire to be in Tennessee rather than at home.

Person after person would ask me, “What if you got offered a job in Tennessee and not one in Colorado?”

I told them all the same thing. “I know that God is going to bless my obedience and honor my desire to go home.”

Some people would laugh at my confidence. Some thought I was crazy when I told them if I got offered a job here I would still go home. Lots just liked to challenge me and play the “what if” game. But still, I stood firm in my belief. I knew my Father knew the deepest places of my heart. I knew He placed that love for my home in my heart. I knew He saw the pain I was going through to be obedient, and I knew my good Father wouldn’t ignore that.

He loved me. He wanted me to be happy. He placed my desires in my heart for a reason.

And so for three years I fought. I fought hard. I did my best to be a servant at all times and find people to love. I sought my Father with everything I had.

Many days my attitude was rotten. I complained. I whined. I cried. But, I stayed.

Soon enough, the days of looking for a job grew nearer and my time in Tennessee was coming to a close. I waited day after day for my scheduled interviews. I was flooded with emotion at the thought of what I knew my Father was preparing for me. I knew this was the moment where He was going to show me He saw my obedience. He was going to guarantee me my place at home through a job.

My constant prayer was, “Father, I can’t wait to see your faithfulness and tell everyone about it.”

On March 16th 2016 I heard these words over the phone, “…and that is why I would like to offer you the job at Soaring Hawk Elementary.”

My chest heaved as I did my best to maintain composure and stop the sobs from escaping.

My mind whirled as each new thought overtook my mind.

My heart swelled with all the feels — excitement, shock, fear, and panic.

This was really happening. A school offered me a job — in Colorado.

As I sat there, trying my best to pay attention to what was being said to me on the phone, all I could think was, “Morgan, remember this moment. You just got a job offer. An adult job. To be a real teacher. This is happening. Don’t forget this feeling. Your dream just came true.”

It was in that moment the last three years were worth it. Every tear shed, every lonely night, every ache of my heart had led up to this — my dream coming true.

Ever since I was five years old I have dreamed of being a teacher. My heart has been captivated since the beginning of time with the beauty that kids are. They are made up of innocence, passion, goodness, generosity, and love. To have the opportunity to impact and help grow their hearts is something I cannot pass up. Rediscovering the beauty and mystery of this world with kids who so passionately desire to learn and grow is how I want to spend my days.

And now I get to. The dream, the calling, the desire my Father placed inside my heart from the beginning of time has flourished and developed into an extravagant way of life. One that is now officially a reality.

You see, the heart of our Father is a beautiful and good one. It is so intricately connected to ours and will not lead us astray. He will guard us and go before us. He will take care of us in the most perfect way.

He leads us places for a reason. His instructions to us are perfect and good. His plan for our life is unexplainably wonderful.

Do not doubt where He is taking you. When His direction for your life goes against everything you had planned, draw near to Him and sink into his touch. Allow the peace He offers you to flood your heart and overpower every other emotion. The fear, the sadness, the angst, the anger — they cannot compare to the peace your Father offers you. And when you allow your heart to be flooded with that peace, obedience to your Father’s calling can come so much easier.

And then, I promise you, obedience to His commands will be worth it. In following His plans for your life, He will take care of your desires, and He will bless you. He will look into the deepest places of your heart, the part He so intricately, carefully, and perfectly made, and make every dream come true. It may not be how you planned, but His most pleasing and perfect will is what you need.

Following the verse where God tells Abram to leave his home and go to another country, He tells him this:

“I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.” Genesis 12:2-3

The power this truth and promise holds is immense. His Word was true for Abram, and it is true for us.

“He replied, ‘Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.’” Luke 11:28

He is a faithful and unchanging God. When we are still enough to listen to Him and we obey, He will come through on the other side and bless us. He will grant us the deepest desires of our heart.

No matter the pain, sadness, or frustration we have to go through, He is bigger, and it will be worth it.

I have waited months and months to write this blog post. In the last three years I have tried to convince so many people I knew I was headed back to Colorado after graduation, but I knew until it was official I couldn’t prove it. My Father’s truths and promises need no proving by me, but experiencing His promises in my own life and letting it be a part of my testimony gives me the opportunity to let others see the truth when they don’t believe it. And now I can. Now I can prove how faithful my Father is. How well He knows the desires of my heart. That He blesses obedience. That all of this was worth it. That obedience is always the right answer.

To sum it up, I am over-the-top thrilled. I want to proclaim His goodness and faithfulness from the rooftops. I want the whole world to know the God I serve is a good God. He is a loving Father who takes care of us always. Who wants to bless us. Who will always lead us in the right direction.

His goodness in my life is more than I can fathom. I am so humbled by every opportunity He has presented me with. I deserve none of it, but that is the beauty of serving Him. We deserve none of what He gives us, but He still lavishes us in His love and goodness. Bask in it. Don’t let a moment go by without relishing in the ways He has lavished His love upon you.

See, I told you. He sees your obedience. Every single bit of it. The early mornings and late nights. The patience you are amplifying through being friends with that person. The compassion you show when you gave the money you didn’t have to the person who needed it more. The diligence in seeking Him always.

He will bless it. I promise you that. Stand firm, taking in a deep stabilizing breath, and keep saying, “Okay.”

And in time a blessing will come so big and so grand. It will be right in your face. Impossible to ignore. Too good to be true. So good that you know, it could only have come from your good Father.