I admit that this post is primarily addressed towards single women. I believe marriage is a wonderful calling and an institution designed by God, and I hope someday to be a wife and mother. But in the meantime, I am seeking to rejoice in my singleness and see it for the blessing that it is. As a single woman in her late twenties (yes, I realize that’s not very old) I am the minority in my church – I’m surrounded by couples and families. The church puts a lot of emphasis on marriage and families, which is great. But I also see a need for more teachings on the blessing of singleness, especially to youth and young adults.
Perhaps you’re reading this and thinking, “The blessing of singleness? How on earth is it a blessing?” It’s taken me many years to reach the point where I could consider singleness a blessing, but I’m increasingly coming around to the idea. Paul (a single man) speaks very highly of singleness in 1 Corinthians 7:
“Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am [single]. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.” (v. 6-7 ESV)
“The unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” (v. 34b-35)
Undivided Devotion – Singles have fewer distractions, particularly in the home. Married women are supposed to think of their spouse and families; wives are to submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22) and mothers spend huge portions of their lives thinking of their children. Serving your husband and children is an honorable calling, but it does impact your ability to focus fully on the Lord. Singles should find it easier to have undivided devotion to God.
Dependence on God – As a single woman who lives alone and over 1,500 miles from my family, I have found that I have to rely on God for my daily provision. Although I am part of a loving and generous church, not having my family nearby has removed a safety net I might have otherwise relied on. Trusting in my own abilities is a prideful temptation, and daily I see my inadequacies and my need for God’s protection and provision. I talk to God throughout the day and He is my companion as I face the ups and downs of life. He is unbelievably faithful, and I can see how He is using my years as a single to increasingly depend on Him.
“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” (Titus 2:3-5)
Being a Spiritual Mother – Recently I watched an amazing video series* by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Mary Kassian that examined Titus 2:3-5. One topic they covered was leaving a legacy, or being a spiritual mother. Women were created to be mothers, but that doesn’t have to be limited to just physical motherhood. Every woman is in a position to build up and help teach other women. That can range from leading a Bible study to just living life alongside other women and letting them look at your life as an example. In addition to training other women, you can also be a spiritual mother to others’ children. I may not have my own kids, but I have taught dozens of children in Sunday School and youth group. I am in a position to build relationships, teach about God, model the Christian walk and love on those children. I can be a spiritual mother, even as a single woman. The other day I went to a 7-year-old’s birthday party and was the only adult who wasn’t a parent. But as I looked around the group, I realized that I had taught half of those kids in Sunday School. I had spent hours teaching those children, investing in their lives and building relationships with their entire families. My life has been greatly enriched through those years of serving in the children’s ministry and being a spiritual mother.
In closing, how would you describe yourself? Is your identity rooted in Christ or rooted in your relationship with others, a job or something else that’s temporary? Romans 8:35-39 reminds us that nothing can separate us from the love of God. Our families, relationships, jobs and material belongings can fall apart in an instant. But God never changes and is the only foundation that can weather any storm (Luke 6:46-48). I challenge you (regardless of your marital status) to root yourself in Christ. Find your sole satisfaction in Him and view Him as your constant companion. He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5).
*True Woman 201: Interior Design – Ten Elements of Biblical Womanhood. Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Mary A. Kassian. 2015. Available on You Tube if you search “Interior Design True Woman 201”
About the Author
I am a Christ-loving woman who is continually being stretched by the Lord. I live in small-town Texas and love playing soccer, baking cookies, playing games and hugging trees. I split my time between working towards the conservation of endangered species and training up the next generation of children and youth at my church.