What kind of emotions does that image rise up in you? Excitement? Nervousness? Anxiety? Worry? Thankfulness?
Well, this was the sight I saw on September 16th. Two lines instead of one. Insert shock. I can tell you that so many emotions pierced me. Worry, fear, excitement, joy, shock. A baby. Another baby! So SOON? Wow.
It’s funny how life works out. I’m a planner. I like to have my ducks in a row. I like to know what’s coming. I HATE surprises if I know there’s one coming but don’t know what it is. I like to THINK I have control. I sometimes live in my own little world filled with a mirage of control that I think I have. Anyone with me? So when Liam came into the picture, we were surprised because we wanted to hopefully wait a couple more years to start adding to our family. Then September 16th rolled around and we were even MORE unprepared for this news! So, slowly but surely, the Lord continues to bust my little bubble of “control.”
This is Liam’s famous “O Face.” He does it on command. We decided we should all make the “O Face” to document our surprise!
Isn’t it funny that we want to think we have control? Little ole’ Andi, who has no power or authority, thinks she wants to control her world when GOD, the creator of the entire universe, the one with ALL power and ALL authority is actually holding her world in His hands. Why do I do it? Why do I allow myself to think my ways are better? I used to have this AWFUL…I mean AWFUL shirt in middle school. It’s quite humorous that I owned it because I was shy as all get out and definitely kept to myself. The shirt was a vibrant yellow color with a “One Way” sign on it. But instead of reading “One Way” it read “My Way or the Highway.” I kid you not! I wish I had a picture. (Mom—WHY did you get that for me again???). I guess that message got into my head somewhere along the way. Hi, my name’s Andi and I am a control freak.
When we women are tempted to take matters into our own hands, declaring “My Way or the Highway,” we need to cling to God’s beautiful Word. His promises run so deep. His words can convict even the most prideful of hearts. He can certainly remind us gently that we don’t have control, nor do we want to pretend like we have control. Not only does my “control freak”-ness show pride in me, but it also shows my lack of trust in the Lord. Here are a few verses that I’ve been reminding myself of as I’ve processed this news…
“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” Proverbs 19:21
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9
As I’ve thought about these verses and the gift of life over the past few weeks, I’ve grown increasingly thankful for this baby. I’ve become less ignorant as I’ve gotten older to the struggles and pains many people face when trying to get pregnant. Therefore, the Lord makes my heart increasingly thankful. Whatever you may be facing, remember Jesus is the author of life. HE has control, and we have to relinquish our mirage of control. His ways are HIGHER. He is ABLE.