Almost a year ago, more than two months before I was due to give birth to my firstborn Son, something went wrong.
But God was with me.
Even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. -verse 10
I was diagnosed with severe preeclampsia and told that my baby would be born within days, maybe hours, not months, not weeks, like I expected.
But God was in control of my son’s life.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. -verse 13-14
I was afraid.
God already knew that. He has always known me.
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. -verse 1-3
I was rushed to a hospital that was more capable to handle my condition, and a fast and furious one-hour ambulance ride from the middle of nowhere, led me straight to the nation’s leading specialist on preeclampsia. Wow.
God was taking care of me.
You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. -verse 5-6
I worried that my son’s body was not big enough, not strong enough. When I arrived at the hospital, I had an ultra sound. My son was facing the camera, smiling.
God was taking care of my son.
My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body. -verse 15-16
Days passed. The snow fell. My blood pressure rose. Then suddenly, blood, fear, hope, faith.
But God already had a plan for my son’s life
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. -verse 16
And Clark Emerson was born, full of life, with breath in his lungs and joyful sounds on his lips.
The fulfillment of God’s plan and God’s love. His plan, not mine.
And all the time, God knew.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! -verse 17
My doctor said it was the real deal. It is a miracle we are both alive.
God does miracles all the time.
Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. -verse 14
Every life is a miracle, a blessing, and a testimony of God’s love, and God gives every one of us life. Our testimonies are about more than the way we handle disputes with coworkers or what we say when we stub our toe, more than whether or not we apologize to our husband when we are wrong; and while all of that is important, we must remember that every breath and every blink belongs to God. Life, the actual living and breathing part of life, cries out of God’s love and mercy. If you ever wonder about God’s providence, consider the life he has given you – the car accident narrowly avoided, the irregular skin patch that came back benign, a birthday, yet another Christmas, this morning when you opened your eyes. Your life testifies of God. Embrace it, and Start. Living.
About the Author
Hi! My name is Carrie Freeman. I am Christ-follower, wife, and mother. I have spent the last seven years learning and teaching about God throughout the United States and Southeast Asia. I earned my masters’ in theology and intercultural studies. This past year, I moved back to my hometown and became a new mom. Now I find myself in a small town trying to find God’s purpose for me. Currently, I work for Save the Children, teaching literacy to impoverished and at-risk children. I am passionate about missions, literacy, and of course my adorable baby boy.