The struggle train

I’m not perfect. I don’t have even a spec of perfection in me. I’m a perfectionist but can get very frustrated because I truly cannot be perfect. Lately I’ve struggled to keep the house clean. Struggled to be consistent with my quiet times with Jesus. Struggled to resist nap time. Struggled to keep up with laundry. Struggled to make sure dinner is on the table. Struggled to have a kind, encouraging word for my husband. If there’s a struggle train coming, I seem to jump on lately! Choo choo!

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I came into this Christmas season guns a blazing, ready to focus on Jesus and enjoy it rather than get stressed, behind, annoyed etc. Satan’s sounding alarm must have gone off because he’s done his best to distract me! Does anyone else feel this way?

I sat down two days ago to finally get some time in God’s word. I felt like I needed to remind myself of that beautiful Proverbs 31 woman… The one I want to be but sometimes feel completely inadequate (the truth is- I am ON MY OWN).

A couple of parts stuck out to me this go around. First of all in talking about this woman’s husband,

“She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs‬ ‭31‬:‭12‬

Oh how my marriage and every day emotional experience would change if I would do my husband good rather than harm. If I would speak with grace. If I would encourage rather than defeat him.

Then this whammy hit.

“She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Proverbs‬ ‭31‬:‭27‬

So does that mean I can’t nap all day and watch Hallmark Christmas movies? I’m going to say YES. I can be utterly lazy but desire immensely to not eat of this bread of idleness. Satan loves to make us busy or lazy. Those are some of his sneakiest tools.

Then these beautiful lines hit me.

“Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Proverbs‬ ‭31‬:‭25-26‬

I just see this lovely woman with a headband of flowers in a flowy dress prancing through a field with a huge smile on her face. I know that’s not realistic but what a lovely picture! JOY. Joy written all over her being. This woman is an inspiration. Her husband praises her and her kids call her blessed! Oh, how I long for this!

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Does anyone else feel like this is unachievable? It is. On our own. We cannot be clothed with strength and dignity without Jesus. We can’t laugh at the times to come without Jesus. We can’t be gracious in our speech without Jesus. We must turn off those Hallmark Christmas movies, pause wrapping those presents, hold off on the baking to spend time with our Lord and Savior. Resist Satan’s schemes, especially this time of year. The King is coming! He wants to be alive in you! Present every day. He desires to make you this Proverbs 31 woman.

We can only achieve an ounce of this through Him. There are way too many distractions this time of year. Stop. Turn on those Christmas tree lights. Grab your bible. Pray. Have a quiet moment with Jesus before anything else happens. He’s worth it!